‘God will provide us lots of money’: These brothers are subsidizing their 52-year-old mother’s PhD in Christian Studies — but are they wrong to resent her decision not to work?

When family crosses the line

Higher education isn't just a priority for the mother — her 28-year-old son is also working toward his master’s degree while managing a full-time job at a fast-food restaurant.

But instead of focusing on their own financial stability, he and his brother have found themselves drowning in debt. Both have maxed out their credit cards, and the student loans meant to fund their education are instead covering their mother’s expenses.

With the average federal student loan debt at $38,375 — and total balances, including private loans, reaching as high as $41,520 — their financial situation is teetering on the edge. Redirecting their student loans toward household costs instead of tuition could leave them in a dangerous spiral of debt.

And it’s not just student loans — they're also racking up credit card debt.

“I even pointed out that thanks to me we actually had Thanksgiving that year because I maxed out our credit card for the third time after paying it off to buy Thanksgiving for us and our extended family,” the frustrated Reddit user wrote.

If they're unable to make timely payments, their credit scores could take a serious hit. A low credit scoremakes it harder to secure loans or new credit cards, and even if they qualify, they’ll likely face sky-high interest rates.

Down the line, poor credit could become a major obstacle if they want to move out, lease an apartment, or finance something as simple as a car.

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Blood is not always thicker

Now, the Reddit user finds himself in a tough spot, with his mom shutting herself away in her room. But he has every right to stand his ground and make it clear that the current spending habits simply aren’t sustainable.

“You cannot potentially sink your own ship to bail out someone else,” Aja Evans, a board-certified therapist who specializes in financial therapy, tells CNBC Make It. “Yes, you feel bad now, but you’re going to feel great when you’re able to pay for the things you need.”

Helping a family financially can be tough especially when their needs start taking priority over your own. The mother assured the boys that "God will provide us lots of money in the future," the user wrote. But that promise isn’t paying the bills. While it's natural to want to help, financial support doesn’t always have to mean handing over cash.

If a loved one is struggling, consider non-monetary ways to help. For example, assisting them with budgeting or even helping them look for better job opportunities — maybe one that fits within the mom’s school schedule.

Encouraging a long-term solution rather than providing quick fixes can make a big difference without putting yourself in financial distress.

It’s also important to set clear limits on what you can offer. Instead of covering recurring expenses, offering to cover groceries for one month can help you set a boundary.

Helping shouldn’t come at the cost of your own stability because if your finances collapse, you won't be able to help anyone, including yourself.

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