Secrets are toxic to relationships
Keeping secrets was the most common financial infidelity respondents copped to in the Bankrate survey. A significant 33% said they’ve been guilty of secretly spending more money than their partner would be comfortable with. But that’s not the only secret they’re keeping — 23% admitted to hiding debts and 17% had secret credit cards.
But these secrets, whether omissions or lies, can take a real toll on relationships. A whopping 38% of Bankrate’s respondents say keeping a financial secret is equally as bad as physical infidelity, while 7% say it’s worse.
Sethi says he sees embracing financial transparency as seizing an opportunity to grow with a partner — whether that means planning a dream trip to Disneyland or investing in meaningful shared experiences.
Interestingly, the likelihood of financial infidelity seems to decline with age. Sixty-seven percent of Gen Zers in committed relationships have engaged in financial deception, compared to 54% of millennials.
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Learn MoreHow to stay faithful
While there’s no one right way to manage money as a couple, one of the best ways to foster transparency is by creating a shared budget. That doesn’t have to mean tracking every dollar to the cent. What’s most important is ensuring both partners have a clear understanding of what’s being spent, saved and invested.
Another step is deciding how to structure your accounts — whether that means fully combining finances, keeping separate accounts with shared expenses, or opting for a hybrid approach. Sethi advocates for a hybrid approach, allowing partners to keep their independence while having a joint account.
“Every couple should have joint accounts, joint priorities, joint rich life vision and also you have your own money set aside for safety, security, for spending on the things you but only you love,” Sethi said.
Setting aside regular time to talk about money can make financial conversations feel less daunting and more natural. Sethi suggests keeping these chats short and stress-free check-ins — just 15 minutes, and definitely not right before bed.
The goal shouldn’t be to tackle everything at once but to create an open dialogue where both partners feel comfortable discussing financial goals, adjusting budgets and addressing any concerns.
These check-ins aren’t just about crunching numbers; they’re about maintaining trust and ensuring both partners feel heard. When money becomes a regular, judgment-free topic of conversation, there’s less room for secrecy — and less risk of financial betrayal.
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