I’m 31, inherited $100,000 from my grandma, and my fiancée says I’m ‘stingy’ for refusing to spend it on a ‘dream’ wedding — but I want to use it for a house, kids. Am I wrong for saying no?

Understanding the cost of big weddings

Maybe you can’t put a price on love, but you can definitely put a price on a wedding — and that price is getting even more expensive. According to Zola’s First Look Report on wedding trends for 2025, the average cost for a wedding is projected to hit a high of $36,000, up from $33,000 in 2024.

Of course, the price tag depends on location. New York City was the most expensive place in the U.S. to get hitched, averaging $65,000. Destination weddings aren’t cheap either, averaging $41,312.

Zola also followed up with couples who got married in 2024. About 20% said they went over budget by $10,000.

If Jim and his fiancée stuck with their original plan, they could use that $100,000 to get on solid financial footing as they start their life together. That could mean an emergency fund, paying off high-interest debt or boosting retirement contributions.

If they want to buy a home, the money could cover a 20% down payment on a $500,000 property. If they plan to have kids, it could help start a college fund. Or they could invest it for long-term goals — for example, if Jim invested the money with 6% annual returns, it could grow to more than $300,000 in 20 years.

In the meantime, Jim could park the money in a federally insured high-yield savings account while he decides. He should also check whether any inheritance tax applies. As of 2025, only five states have inheritance tax, which is paid by the beneficiary. Those include Kentucky, Maryland, Nebraska, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Iowa.

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Financial planning needs joint communication

The bigger concern here is that Jim and his fiancée may not be on the same page about their financial goals.

While she could just be having a bridezilla moment, this shift might also reflect deeper differences in financial values — ones that could cause bigger problems if they’re not addressed.

Financial transparency means talking openly about shared goals — short-term (like a wedding), mid-term goals (like buying a home) and long-term goals (like saving for kids’ education or retirement).

Once they’re married, their tax and legal status will change. They’ll be sharing a household budget and likely filing taxes together, so it’s important to discuss what their financial future looks like before walking down an aisle.

Nearly one in four couples say money is their biggest relationship challenge, according to Fidelity’s 2024 Couples & Money study. But those who make financial decisions together are more likely to say they communicate well or very well with their partner.

If Jim and his fiancée can’t find common ground on managing the inheritance, it may be time to consider premarital financial counseling or working with a financial advisor.

There may be room for compromise. They already had a $20,000 wedding budget. Many financial experts agree it’s okay to spend a small portion — say, 5% to 10% — of a large windfall on something memorable. In Jim’s case, that could mean putting 10% toward the wedding, bringing the total to to $30,000.

That extra cash could cover a larger venue, a designer dress or a bigger guest list — but there would still need to be compromises. Maybe a destination wedding is still on the table, but somewhere more affordable in the Caribbean instead of Tuscany or Fiji.

Disagreements about how to spend an inheritance aren’t uncommon. It’s not necessarily a dealbreaker, but if Jim’s fiancée is focused solely on what she wants from his inheritance, it could be a yellow flag worth paying attention to.