Financial deception
The results of a Bankrate survey published in early 2024 reveal 42% of adults in the U.S. who are married or living with a partner say they’ve kept a financial secret from their significant other. Secrets include spending more than their partner would approve of (30%) and holding undisclosed debt (23%).
Among those who lied about their finances, 28% felt embarrassed by their ability to handle finances and 17% were worried about the relationship ending poorly. Overall, 28% of respondents with a spouse or live-in partner felt keeping financial secrets in a relationship is as bad as cheating, while 7% say it’s worse.
“It’s not always easy to talk about money, but it’s so important. Financial secrets can take on a life of their own and undermine the relationship,” Bankrate senior industry analyst Ted Rossman said in a news release. “We’ve often found that the breach of trust has a greater impact than the dollars and cents.”
Marriage counseling is an option for couples to resolve differences and change behaviors. It can be a forum to open up communication between partners and get them on the same page.
But the level of deception involved in Veronica’s relationship may be too high to overcome, according to Coleman.
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Coleman believes Veronica’s recent marriage is a “farce” and her best course of action is to end it and move on with her life.
“I don’t know if there’s hope for this marriage,” Kamel admitted. “I don’t think you can rebuild from that level of dishonesty.”
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship and people who face financial infidelity may be wise to consider if maintaining it will expose them to more debt and deception in the future.
If you’re unsure about whether your partner is being financially dishonest, you may want to keep an eye out for red flags such as missing cash from accounts, unexpected financial statements, emotional reactions from your partner when talking about money and the sudden loss of possessions, according to Marriage.com.
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